school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize