Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
