dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
