oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize