I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize