Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
