sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
