He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
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