Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
So squirting runs in the family.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
