I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
