Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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