there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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