I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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