i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Randomize