ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
