Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
the night ended with taco bell and tears
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
