so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
