There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
