I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
