do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
