i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize
