She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
