he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
