They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
