I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
