That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize