If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
