:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
