i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Randomize
