Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
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