my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Did we literally take a cab across the street
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
