He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
