we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
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