i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
