i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
After tacos, we're chasing women.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
