batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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