carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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