Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
