dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
