im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
Randomize
