That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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