dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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