I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize