But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Randomize
