Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
my being single is dangerous.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
