WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
