Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize