if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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