he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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