Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I haven't been this sober since birth.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
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