I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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