the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Randomize
