My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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