OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
