On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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