i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
