so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
