There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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